Bla bla bla

Nu este  reprimarea lacrimilor, sentimentelor si in general al oricarui alt gen  de emotii specifice genului liric dovada suprema de maturitate ? Sau e doar o buna proba de actorie ? Poate ar trebui sa trec mai des pe la teatru sa invat expresii  noi sau tehnici inovatoare de executare impecabila a zambetului .Cine stie poate cu putin exercitiu poate se poate mima chiar o existenta fara cusur , totul cred ca sta in repetitie , ea este pana la  urma nascatoarea invatarii . da, as putea sa fac asta sau as putea pur si simplu sa simt , sa iau doar ce e bun din ceea ce ma inconjoara si sa vad ce e mai bun in cei din jur etc... nu stiu continuarea dar am auzit ca e la moda sa fi zen dar ce ma fac daca nu vad o aura deasupra fiecarui om intalnit sau m-am prins ca minciuna nu numai ca nu are picioare scurte dar ar putea cu usurinta sa defileze pe cele mai celebre podiumuri si ca a spune ca urasti minciuna e in sine o minciuna pentru ca uram sa fim prinsi cu minciuna si ne simtim in secret semizei cand scapam cu basma curata .Nu am sa spun ca am gasit eu adevarul absolut sau ca in imensa mea imaculare sufleteasca am gasit adevarul absolut si nu ma abat de la el sub nici o forma si dimpotriva acum sunt mai defecta ca niciodata  si in sinceritatea mea mai mincinoasa decat as fi crezut vreodata .

desire

I'd say that my  desires are diferent and harmless but then i'd be just a hypocrite  like the rest !

Frantura de viata si un zambet de final
un om in minus
o zi furtunoasa si o noapte fierbinte
un ceas de iubire si regretul ca nu stiu sa raspund la fel
simt ca nu simt suficient
cand mint ma iubesti mai mult ca oricand
schimb suflet defect pe o sticla de fericire
nu mai veni , nu mai mi-e dor de tine
nu ma cunosti , nu ma cunosc
sunt perfecta , doar ca am un mare defect
sentimentul ca meriti mai mult , dar ca eu as putea sa dau si mai putin
imposibil de reparat
sa nu stiu cine esti dar sa descopar zilnic
transplant de sentimente

Textul de mai sus este intamplator si genuin , lifelike !

How much time it has to go by until i can feel like myself again ?

One way or another...

Cu timpul totul va fi bine. Insa cu noi se poate intampla orice...

Going, going...gone

Is it bad when the unexpected sound's better than what I leave behind? Does my life suck if i'm more than willing to  go away when all my life I was scared of leaving home? No answers today ...not even really wondering...

...mai tarziu

Nu te speria.
Va fi atat de simplu totul
Ca nici nu vei intelege
Decat mult mai tarziu

.Ana Blandiana - Intalnire

Miraj

Aicea totul seamana cu tine
Sau poate eu asemanari iti caut;
Flori de ninsoare mari, diamantine,
Suavi mesteceni-melodii de flaut.

A.E. Baconsky - Miraj de iarna














Pana la urma are si incalzirea globala beneficiile sale ...am sa te regasesc in tot mai putine opere lirice specifice sezonului ... now how do u like that... ?

so this was christmas....

   It came and passed in a hurry . Less charming then I used to remember .Actually It's been too long since I remember it charming. It's just not holly anymore....and i say that despite the fact that since you are not in my life nothing seems to feel holly.In the rush of the preparatios i almost forgot you're not singing me carols this year. I almost put you a present under the tree, it almost smelled like christmas...
   I will become friends with chirsmas again someday , who knows maybe one year will snow again .....or maybe one year i will find you under my tree....

P.S : And baby remeber:  what goes around defenitly comes around....and usually it comes to bite you in the ass !

my oh my

-What are we been doing for all this time ?

-Dreamin' that we don't want to wake up...

-And how's that working out for us?

-Just because has wings doesen't mean it's flying.

-I don't get it !

-And you never did....

                       *******

-Why is it has to be so good when it's so bad ?

-Oh honey they designed iti that way !

Pentru

  Pentru fiecare vis urat pe care il am ai un descantec , pentru fiecare lacrima varsata pentru altcineva ai adus un zambet numai pentru tine , pentru fiecare taler al balantei mele ai cate un geaman pentru ca eu sa imi pot cantari viitorul  , dar oare vei avea pentru fiecare drum pe care pornesc fara tine curajul de a nu apasa frana ?

  Pot sa accelerez pentru ca m-ai invatzat sa conduc dar poti oare sa stai pe scaunul din spate?

  Sti oare ca oricand pot sa imi gasesc drumul inapoi pe strada ta si ca indicatoarele le voi ocoli mereu?

  Acum ma aflu pe autostrada dar pot sa conduc linistita doar pentru ca am pornit de pe strada ta ...

-O sa plec...

-Spre...?

-Spre un loc care nu e plin de tine

-Ai sa ma uiti ...

-Asta sper !

-Sti ca se spune despre speranta ca e cea mai mare curva ?

-Da...

-Ghici ce pustoaico !

-...

-Eu intotdeauna o sa platesc mai mult ! 

Re...

   This whole redecorating my place got me thinking abaut how nice it would be to be able to remodel life as easily . If i could just repaint my thought's and no one to be able to guess what's under that bright color or to dispose of my feeling and just buy new and untainted ones . But the again i'm not sure i wouldn't paint them in the same color as did to my walls or insted of buing new furniture I just adjust my old one because , what a surprise , i'm very fond of it.  

  You see that's the thing about change....it doesen't come easy but at least it gives clean start.

someday...

...I will not come back !I miss this !

Enjoy

 Gin tonic with a twist of faith. Bad music and a little chilli or maybe you're giving me thrils.You have to stop running trough my sistem everytime I get lonely with a cocktail.Meanwhile you enjoy the beautiful view....after all if you're here on me you might as well enjoy the view. Cheers

:-)

How beautiful would be to wake up to this every single  day ?

Fine

Drunk. It's getting easyer this way. I think i'm on to something.

Memories . At this point iti doesen't hurt so much.

Mess. It's starting to clean up.

Now all I have to do is to evoid staying sober and i'm done with u . Fine by me !

oh

-I miss you officially!

-Oh is that right ?

-Yeah...

-Do you cry ?

-Well not exactly , but I sure listen to a hell of a lot of love songs!

vis...

Te-am visat...iar...cum se intampla cand imi propun sa nu ma mai gandesc la tine...poate si pentru ca nu reusesc niciodata cu adevarat sa te sterg din mintea mea nici macar pret de o zi .....dar lucrez la asta ...

Intre timp imi esti aproape in multe vise pastelate . Nu vreau sa caut semnficatii....de fapt chiar nu vreau sa insemne nimic altceva decat ca imi esti aproape...

You again

                 "Shit happens.Usually to me so u don't have to worry"
                                             -Anonymous

    I knew i had iti coming.....I could just smell it.......I just didn't know when and where.Well mystery solved.Now it's official : I'm only atracted to selfish , mind blowing men that become inaccesible to me the second I touch them . I aparently have the Midas touch on men , except i don't turn them into gold  insted I break them . I mean it has to be me if we are talking majority here. Somewere inside me there has to be a flaw but I can quite seem to figure what it is.My first guess would be that this flaw it's called bad luck but I've read some pshicologist who would argue the difference .

   Anyways it's late and all of this thinking is not helping mostly because now I am busy feelig. Feeling that you have desappointed me so badly that I can't even cry. Feeling that I feel  too much for you. Feeling that you are so not the guy that songs are written about or nevels are inspired by...but still here I am quoting clasics, dedicating song and all those other bullshit that come along with a broken heart.Just so you know if a novel comes out of this i'm not dedicating iti to you :-).

  So what is it behind all this stupid acting of yours? What part of me screamed out loud "I want drama"?

  I'm tired mostly of thinking where did it went wrong and how can you possibly be thinking that what you are doing now can be good for you . But never the less what's done is done put on the seatbealt beacause this ride you booked it's gonna shake your world !

P.S: we were so breakable a snow man and a ice sculpture had a better chance at happily ever after.

P.S: and for missing you.....and for not hating you ....